By: Dr. Amrita Sahu (Researcher WMS)

Illustration of a Diverse Group of Women

Often we read on Whatsapp and Facebook jokes on women as to how they are a torture to men etc. etc. Often this is followed by  counter attack messages in the form of jokes or sometimes in the form of encouraging messages like as to how wonderfully women have contributed in a man’s and whole family’s life.

However, being women we individually need to understand- who are we? How we see ourselves? To look into this personally lets personalise this question- Who am I? How I see myself?

Busy life style has not left us with much time to think over this. We often hear from our female colleagues, friends and relatives the challenges we face, battles we overcome on day to day basis which goes unobserved, unidentified, unappreciated, unnoticed, so on and so forth. We complain how we are unable to reach ideal mark that society and our upbringing designed for us.

Few instances- how well food has to be cooked, not forgetting– reaching to man’s heart is through his stomach! Well, I guess the fact that he never had stomach upset eating homemade food proves that we have loved him enough to cook food most hygienic way possible which has not poisoned him yet. If that was a fact then every woman would have been loved by her man from core of his heart. Secondly, how clean the house is shows how cultured the family is. Trust me I have seen messiest of houses and flats and the woman in the family is the most wonderful woman I have ever encountered in my life, there is so much to learn from them.

Thirdly, every successful man has a woman behind him- even if your husband has failed many times, still you are wonderful because you have stood by him in his most difficult time and still not given up even when he has.

Does clean house define our identity? Yummiest food defines who we are? Children’s behaviour defines who we are? Their performance in their exams and life define who we are? How our husbands are at job and their relationships define who we are? If we are single women, does being still unmarried defines who we are?

I have come to a point where it has become my necessity to remind myself of the reality of my identity and where I derive my identity from. Question is how do we do it? Here is one of the ways I do and has helped me to grow within myself. Listed down qualities I always had which I stopped recognising in due course of time when hassles of life overpowered me. These are the qualities that once defined me.

What qualities are lost that I can revive, which one I can reform, which one should I leave? List it and paste it where you can see.